Dear Heidi,
I refer to the below photograph of your performance at the Miss Universe pageant. Fortunately I was unable to watch what I have heard describe as an abomination, however I did see the below photograph and I immediately felt horror and embarrassment for you!
Maybe you were too young or you're currently suffering from Alzheimer's Disease, I'm not sure. But do you not remember the 2000 VMA's when Britney performed "I'm A Slave For You?" Why are you ripping off her wardrobe? Did The Hills cut your salary to make room for Kristin Cavallari, forcing you to go through Britney's donations to Good Will???
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I now refer to exhibit two: Britney's outfit is not only better all around, but she also rocks this look a hell of a lot better than you do!
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Sincerely,
Pink Julep
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